Drained

When I got home from work last night, my husband started asking me if we should do a pregnancy test. We were advised to wait until Friday (9th) but we were desperately trying to find a way around that! We talked it through and after googling we decided that if we got a positive result then we could be 99% sure it is correct as the HCG injection that I did on 20th Feb should we out of my system by now. And we decided that if it was a negative result that it could just be because it was too early and therefore there was still hope. So we did a test and it was negative. My heart sank and the more I thought about it the more hope I lost and the tearier I became. But my other half is right, it was early to be testing. There is still hope. Then at around 2am this morning, I had some severe cramping again. It lasted about 45 minutes I think. I took paracetamol after about 20 mins and eventually it wore off. It felt like someone was wringing out my uterus! Today I've had no bleeding but have felt kind of sore. Not surprising really. What the hell is going on? I feel so physically and emotionally drained from all of this. Both of us just want this cycle of treatment to be over one way or another. I can't believe how much worse this two-week-wait has been compared to those when I had IUI. I think it's mostly down to the cramping and bleeding which has sent me googling and playing out every possible scenario in my head... Everyone in our lives who knows about the IVF is wishing us well which is lovely. Finally I feel that most of the important people in our lives can talk to us about it with relative ease. But on the down side, we may have to disappoint them all tomorrow. We're going away with friends tomorrow night and my husband thinks that if we get a negative result that perhaps I should continue avoiding alcohol for a few more days just to be sure. So, go away with friends on the day that I've got a negative result and stay sober while everyone is drinking as if I was pregnant? Yeah right! No chance.