Wednesday 18 April 2012

Back to "normal"

I got my period on Saturday, which is five weeks since the end of the 2 week wait. Good to see everything working normally again. We've decided to wait until we know the outcome of the funding application before we move ahead. It's tough to make a firm decision without knowing all of the implications. The earliest that I will start popping the inital pills for a second round of IVF will be August. Will try to switch off from baby making in the meantime!

Monday 9 April 2012

Tough times

I can't believe that it's been 4 weeks since I last posted. It's been a tough 4 weeks to be honest. We went for the de-brief meeting with the consultant. We didn't learn anything. She basically told us how many eggs had fertilised and how many they had put back, etc. Nothing we didn't already know. We had an opportunity to ask questions and we asked if anything would be done differently next time, to which the answer was no. She said the only thing that she could recommend I do is to take DHEA before the next cycle. This had been recommended before the last cycle but I'd read some things online about mood changes which had put me off. As the doc rightly pointed out, with all the other drugs we need to take, I shouldn't be put off by that. I asked about the cramping that I've experienced and she said that this was all normal - both for unsuccessful cycles and successful cycles. I wish I had known this at the time. The doc said that she has only ever known one couple to be successful on the first round. I think if we had known this in advance we would have been less likely to get our hopes up. When we left I felt really down. I think it was the reality of the treatment cycle being completely over and feeling so out of control of the situation. I felt so blue for a couple of weeks. Interacting with people was really hard and I turned down some social invitations. I've been so tired with regular headaches which tend to come on towards the end of the day. I've had a look online about this and it's clearly normal. The headaches are a result of hormones regulating apparently. Again, I wish the doc had warned me! Basically I've just wanted to sit and rest and eat and feel sorry for myself and not talk to anyone. More recently I seem to be very anxious and not sleeping as soundly as usual. I sometimes get heart palpitations when I'm stressed or have had stimulants (caffeine, alcohol, spicy food) and I've been suffering with them daily recently despite cutting out caffeine and rarely drinking. Generally, I am feeling much better though. I've got my energy back and can begin to imagine starting another cycle. I'll be busy with photography work through the summer and so we'll probably give it another go in Aug/Sep. I've ordered some DHEA - it's a natural substance that can help produce more and better quality eggs which, in turn, can decrease the chance of miscarriage. We'll see how it goes. You're supposed to take it for a few months before treatment. I haven't had a period yet. Which is fine by me! Nice to be carrying on without any female issues for a while! I got chatting to an old colleague recently. She had sent me a lovely email following the IVF failure. She had a miscarriage a year or so ago and she told me that she had another miscarriage a few months ago, this time with twins. We saw each other at a work reunion and had a good catch up. Although our situations are different, we are going through very similar experiences and emotions. It was good to talk. We both agreed that we didn't know which of our situations was worse.