Three months old

N will be three months old tomorrow! Wow. She seems to have really come alive this month, particularly in the last couple of weeks. She responds to our voices much more now, she has spotted the TV and can't keep her eyes off it, she's smiling a lot and makes lots of expressions. She is getting more coordinated with her hands and is purposefully reaching out for things. She spends quite a lot of time studying her hands which I love to watch. She's also just starting to notice her legs and feet. She's getting much more vocal - really shouting out at times! Her hair is getting slightly thicker. I don't think her eye colour has changed at all this month, it's still blue/grey. She has had a few firsts this month. She had her first swim at the local pool which she loved and we also took her to a taster session for baby swimming lessons. She loved that even more so we've signed her up for the course! She also had her first trip to the cinema! One of our local theatres does a mother and baby screening once a month. N fed and slept through the whole thing and the other babies were pretty relaxed too so it worked well. We're going again next week with D. She also had her first set of jabs this month. I'd always heard of Mums being upset when their kids get their jabs but I thought I would be fine with it. We all get jabs after all. What's the big deal? The nurse asked me if I was OK beforehand and I was fine. Nia took her Rotovirus oral vaccine and she smiled from the sweetness. And then she got the first jab in the leg. Her reaction really floored me. I hadn't seen her cry out in pain before and it was rough! I had tears in my eyes and tried to hold it together while they did the second jab. Poor baby. I really felt like I'd given her into a false sense of security. I took her outside to feed straight away and she fed and quickly went to sleep :( She had REALLY bad wind for a while that night and was crying in pain again. Horrible to see. I think it must have been the Rotovirus vaccine. Not looking forward to the next round now... At 10 weeks she weighed 13lbs and was 24.5 inches. At 11.5 weeks she was 13lb 9oz. So she is between the 50th and 75th percentile - a very healthy weight! She likes to spread out in bed and so the moses basket just wasn't working anymore. It's too cramped and noisy and I couldn't settle her in it if she woke in the night. So we moved her cotbed into our room and she's now sleeping very comfortably. She generally sleeps from around 11:30-12pm until 7-7:30am, which is great! I'm working on getting her to bed a little bit earlier now. I'm feeling quite guilty about the lack of attention that our two cats are getting. Basically they are get next to none! And the weather has been really wet so they are getting frustrated being indoors all the time too. They tend to feel like more of an annoyance than anything else now which I feel bad about. I also feel guilty whenever I'm doing anything for myself rather than something for N. I've got to get over that as I don't give myself a great deal of time. I seem to be healing well now and things seem to be getting back to normal. I have an appointment with the consultant at the hospital this week and I'll be asking him about a few things. Since I've been sewn up I have a skin tag and I don't know why it's there and if I'm stuck with it. It's a bit annoying but I guess I can live with it. I've also had really bad, noisy and sometimes very smelly gas lately! It happens completely unexpectedly and embarrassingly sometimes. I've read online that it's normal and gets better but I need to ask about it as it is a concern...! Also, D and I have attempted sex a couple of times and although we made better progress the second time, it feels very tight in there and we couldn't do it properly. Afterwards I felt like a virgin who had lost her virginity at an orgy - very sore! I'm very happy with how my body has sprung back to my original size (actually slightly smaller). I assume this is partly because I didn't put on a great deal of extra weight and also because I'm breastfeeding. But I need to keep an eye on it as I'm eating obscene amounts of cookies and cake. I won't be breastfeeding forever after all. We started a short course of baby massage lessons this month which N seems to enjoy. She certainly sleeps well afterwards. I also took her to a baby sensory class taster but I don't think we'll go again as it was a bit of a glorified play group. I'm really feeling the time running away - I'm a third of the way through my maternity leave already... :( I want to literally inhale N and really feel every moment with her to be savoured forever. I really don't like the idea of going back to work and leaving N with anyone, even if it is my Mum. I feel it's my job to take care of her. There are some work opportunities for D which might help us to accomplish this - we'll see how they pan out over the next few months.

Waiting...

So another week of maternity leave has flown by! I met three of the girls from my NCT group on Monday. One of them has had her baby and she talked incessantly about the birth and the early weeks. She just doesn't stop talking generally and her anxiety about adjusting to being a Mum was obvious. After an hour and a half of listening to her I was utterly exhausted and had to make my excuses! On Tuesday morning the health visitor came to see me. She turned up two hours earlier than expected and I was still in my pyjamas, but I figured that the next time she comes to see me I'll probably still be in my pyjamas anyway! D is a little anti-health visitors and I must admit that I felt her questionning about our lives and medical history was a little intrusive. But I believe that they have our best interests at heart and this particular health visitor does seem very lovely and supportive and that's how I have to view the visits. I saw the midwife for my 38 week visit in the afternoon and that went smoothly. All is still fine. My blood pressure has risen very slightly but it's still low, the babies heart rate is still good and her growth is still on track so no concerns. On Wednesday I went to see an old work colleague for coffee and on Friday met a couple of old work colleagues for lunch. In between I've been carrying on the list of cleaning, minor DIY and napping! D has been on half term break since Thursday and so we've been getting some practical things done together (taking stuff to the tip, figuring out the car seat, shopping, etc). For the last few days I've been feeling pretty low and grumpy. I just put it down to hormones but when it wasn't going away I started getting worried that this was the start of some kind of pre/post natal depression. Everyone has been saying 'oh, you must be so excited' but I've just been feeling a bit flat and anxious and overwhelmed. I was beginning to get a bit worried about not feeling how I should when the baby arrives. Anyway, I had a chat with D about it and he asked his sister if she had felt the same. She was very supportive and reassured me that I'll snap out of it and it's all to be expected. I feel a lot better today! :) We're about to go to the cinema - this could well be the last visit for a while!!