5 months old

At 21 weeks, N is 26.5 inches and 17lb 1 oz. I've heard of the time between 3 and 6 months as being the golden months and I can understand that. N is a proper baby now in all her cuddly cuteness and she is showing personality and is a lot of fun. But as she still isn't mobile she is still fairly easy to care for! We love her more every day :) She is getting much more capable of moving how she wants to, turning to look at things, reaching for things when she's on her tummy. She is pushing up a bit more when she's on her belly and showing signs of trying to roll over occasionally. She has very strong abs and loves to crunch them to look at her feet with her legs stretched out. She is making new noises all the time and loves to babble away to herself. N is learning about the world with her mouth and her little lizard tongue keeps popping out in search of new things :) Her wrists and thighs are very cutely chubby. More hair is coming through with glimmers of blonde. She got her first cold :( It was heartbreaking to see her pale, watery-eyed face. She woke quite a lot in the night, struggling to breath. I also got the cold so it's been a slightly tougher couple of weeks for us both and I've been the most sleep deprived to date. On the plus side, D has been off work for Easter so that's been a big help and enabled a few naps! I feel like I'm really understanding N's needs more now and anticipating them more. My instincts about what is going on with her have proven to be right which increases my confidence to trust them and ignore suggestions from other people :) Her swimming lessons are going well and she had her first free underwater swim last week which was great to watch through my goggles. N has started to use her door bouncer which she seems to be having fun with even though she looks slightly surprised at her freedom in it and I find it really odd to see her standing in it without our help! Her nick name is firmly The Bean or Beaner, from me calling her N-bean from the early days. She is really enjoyable company and we're good buddies now :) I didn't ever have an immediate, overwhelming bond with her which worried me in the beginning. Our bond has definitely been developing gradually and I prefer it that way now as I feel it's based on our time together and the trust that has developed rather than a chemical or hormonal reaction. I've wanted to wait until 6 months to give N any solid food but D is very keen and keeps putting naughty food on her lips (butter, cream, jam, chocolate). So I relented to gain some control and gave her a first stick of cucumber to chew on! I'm a little torn as the advice is to wait until 6 months to avoid infections and allergies but N appears to ready to get started. She is watching us eat all the time and I think she's almost strong enough to sit up and eat now. My reasons for not starting might also be wrapped up in not wanting her to grow up too quickly! I'm gathering all my notes about weaning and will buy a few things that we need in the next week or so. Maybe we'll make a start with some baby rice in a couple of weeks. I'm noticing some slight changes in myself which I think are hormonal, mainly that the benefits to my hair are disappearing! All through my pregnancy and during the early months with N my hair has been full and glossy and hanging beautifully and I've only needed to wash it every few days. But now it's starting to fall out, it's hanging limply and my greasy roots have made a return requiring more regular washing. Meh! My pelvic floor seems to be improving. I work on the exercises when I'm lying in N's crib at night feeding her to sleep. However, if I try and do a little jump it feels a bit like a trampoline! D and I still haven't attempted sex again (due to time more than anything, N isn't great at naps!) but I feel like I might be more ready for it physically now. I've emailed my boss about my return to work. I'm going to take the full year off and I've asked to return part-time. I've also been accruing annual leave while I'm off and so I can add this the my maternity leave. This will enable me to stay off until early December. I feel extremely lucky to be able to take so much time with N while she is little, but I'm also dreading the return to work when it does come around. N will be with my Mum for the three days per week that I'll be at work and I'm sure I'm going to be jealous of their time together. My Mum was at home with my sister and I when we were small and I feel like it should be my turn now rather than her turn again! But needs must.

Four months old

N is now 4 months old. Blimey! And she's getting big! She now weighs 15lb 7oz - over twice her birth weight! And she's 25.5 inches long so she's grown 6 inches already. It's getting quite hard work to carry her around! This month she's been grabbing at everything. She's discovering the cats and grabbing big clumps of fur if she has the opportunity - they're extremely tolerant :) She also found her feet at the end of this month so has started to play with them. She's also found other parts of her anatomy... haha! She has started showing signs of trying to roll. She has a long way to go though. Her hair has started to go blonde which is lovely. I've recently noticed a little 'cafe au lait' type birthmark on her hip - I'm pretty sure it wasn't there before but apparently they can appear after birth. When I hold her up to my shoulder I love the feel of her arm around my neck. And she likes to play with my fingers, hair and clothes which I also love :) She is getting VERY vocal at times, including when she wakes at night at the moment. She is VERY excited at bath time now. There is always lots of kicking with a very concentrated face and water everywhere! She is fast growing out of the baby bath. She started her swimming lessons with Turtle Tots. The class was fast paced which was good and she seemed to really enjoy it and slept like a log afterwards. Apparently she'll have her first underwater swim next lesson which is a little scary for me but no doubt she'll take it in her stride! We've also started a class called "Here's looking at you baby" with the local children's centre. We learn some interesting stuff about baby development but it's mostly a social group and we learn a lot from each other. I find that although I don't ever have time to be bored, things do get a little monotonous if I spend a day at home. It's really good to get out somewhere every day even if it's only for an hour or so. And even better if I actually see other people! Each day brings something new with N - a new sound, a new expression - and I know it's a cliche but it's amazing to see her developing her abilities all the time and being able to do more and more with the toys she is given. We got our first laugh this month which was amazing :) It's still not a regular event - she can be quite serious a lot of the time - but we get the odd chuckle occasionally. We've been to the cinema a few more times. It feels like a bit of a cheeky treat on a Monday lunchtime when everyone else is off to work but I definitely feel like I work for these occasional treats! N will still only be fed to sleep and so I'm now getting into her cotbed with her to feed her to sleep at night and then creeping out when she drops off! I was a little anxious that doing this is a bad idea but it had become almost impossible to move her after she had fallen asleep. I was putting her down about 10 times before she would eventually stay asleep and it was driving me crazy. It seemed to be getting worse rather than better. So for now I figure whatever works! Maybe her habits will change over time on their own so I'll stick with this approach for now. I spoke to a breastfeeding advisor yesterday and she gave me some tips to try and encourage N to settle herself for her daytime naps but she reassured me that N is still a little young to be able to do that and not to worry about it. N is still not going to bed until late (about 11:30) and she had started to sleep for 9-10 hours at night which was great but her sleep routine has gone out of the window these last few days! She's been waking shortly after being put to bed and again during the early hours again for feeds. I wondered whether it was a growth spurt as she's also been quite clingy and the health visitor confirmed this. She may also be starting to have teething pain as she has been quite drooly and chewing her fist. Who knows what is going on in that little head. I can only guess! I've been pumping a bottle of breast milk for N to have each day so that she is used to taking a bottle when we need her to. I went out with the girls from my antenatal group one night and came home at 11pm to find her pretty distraught. The same thing happened when D and I went out for a friend's birthday and my mum babysat. I think it's probably more about her knowing that it's bed time and wanting the booby then an issue with her taking the bottle as she takes it with no problem at all most of the time. Her passport arrived this month which is pretty exciting. Her picture is funny. She looks like a criminal! Funny to think that she can use this passport for five years! My gas issues seemed to have improved a little bit but not completely! I'm wondering how much of it might be a dietary issue as there is an intolerance to cow's milk in my family so I'm starting to use almond milk instead to see if this helps! Nothing to report on the issue of sex. We haven't had much opportunity and I have to admit I'm a little nervous after last time. I wonder whether it's nature's way of stopping you from reproducing when you have a small baby. Some of the other girls in my antenatal group have reported the same issues with tightness even though we've all had completely different births and one of them was a c-section so it must be hormonal as much as physical. Hopefully things will improve on their own to a certain extent. I got a tattoo this month on the inside of my wrist - my first and probably the only one I'll get. It's a Celtic mother and child symbol which I saw when I was pregnant and have been thinking about getting as a tattoo ever since. It's taken me a little while to take the leap as I always have to been 100% sure about everything and have a tendency to talk myself out of things. My mum has voiced her disapproval too which has held me back a bit, even though I'm almost 40! Anyway, I went for it and I'm glad I did. I'm really happy with it, I think it suits me and it's a lovely reminder and confirmation of our joy at having N in our lives and the journey to her arrival.