Four months old

N is now 4 months old. Blimey! And she's getting big! She now weighs 15lb 7oz - over twice her birth weight! And she's 25.5 inches long so she's grown 6 inches already. It's getting quite hard work to carry her around! This month she's been grabbing at everything. She's discovering the cats and grabbing big clumps of fur if she has the opportunity - they're extremely tolerant :) She also found her feet at the end of this month so has started to play with them. She's also found other parts of her anatomy... haha! She has started showing signs of trying to roll. She has a long way to go though. Her hair has started to go blonde which is lovely. I've recently noticed a little 'cafe au lait' type birthmark on her hip - I'm pretty sure it wasn't there before but apparently they can appear after birth. When I hold her up to my shoulder I love the feel of her arm around my neck. And she likes to play with my fingers, hair and clothes which I also love :) She is getting VERY vocal at times, including when she wakes at night at the moment. She is VERY excited at bath time now. There is always lots of kicking with a very concentrated face and water everywhere! She is fast growing out of the baby bath. She started her swimming lessons with Turtle Tots. The class was fast paced which was good and she seemed to really enjoy it and slept like a log afterwards. Apparently she'll have her first underwater swim next lesson which is a little scary for me but no doubt she'll take it in her stride! We've also started a class called "Here's looking at you baby" with the local children's centre. We learn some interesting stuff about baby development but it's mostly a social group and we learn a lot from each other. I find that although I don't ever have time to be bored, things do get a little monotonous if I spend a day at home. It's really good to get out somewhere every day even if it's only for an hour or so. And even better if I actually see other people! Each day brings something new with N - a new sound, a new expression - and I know it's a cliche but it's amazing to see her developing her abilities all the time and being able to do more and more with the toys she is given. We got our first laugh this month which was amazing :) It's still not a regular event - she can be quite serious a lot of the time - but we get the odd chuckle occasionally. We've been to the cinema a few more times. It feels like a bit of a cheeky treat on a Monday lunchtime when everyone else is off to work but I definitely feel like I work for these occasional treats! N will still only be fed to sleep and so I'm now getting into her cotbed with her to feed her to sleep at night and then creeping out when she drops off! I was a little anxious that doing this is a bad idea but it had become almost impossible to move her after she had fallen asleep. I was putting her down about 10 times before she would eventually stay asleep and it was driving me crazy. It seemed to be getting worse rather than better. So for now I figure whatever works! Maybe her habits will change over time on their own so I'll stick with this approach for now. I spoke to a breastfeeding advisor yesterday and she gave me some tips to try and encourage N to settle herself for her daytime naps but she reassured me that N is still a little young to be able to do that and not to worry about it. N is still not going to bed until late (about 11:30) and she had started to sleep for 9-10 hours at night which was great but her sleep routine has gone out of the window these last few days! She's been waking shortly after being put to bed and again during the early hours again for feeds. I wondered whether it was a growth spurt as she's also been quite clingy and the health visitor confirmed this. She may also be starting to have teething pain as she has been quite drooly and chewing her fist. Who knows what is going on in that little head. I can only guess! I've been pumping a bottle of breast milk for N to have each day so that she is used to taking a bottle when we need her to. I went out with the girls from my antenatal group one night and came home at 11pm to find her pretty distraught. The same thing happened when D and I went out for a friend's birthday and my mum babysat. I think it's probably more about her knowing that it's bed time and wanting the booby then an issue with her taking the bottle as she takes it with no problem at all most of the time. Her passport arrived this month which is pretty exciting. Her picture is funny. She looks like a criminal! Funny to think that she can use this passport for five years! My gas issues seemed to have improved a little bit but not completely! I'm wondering how much of it might be a dietary issue as there is an intolerance to cow's milk in my family so I'm starting to use almond milk instead to see if this helps! Nothing to report on the issue of sex. We haven't had much opportunity and I have to admit I'm a little nervous after last time. I wonder whether it's nature's way of stopping you from reproducing when you have a small baby. Some of the other girls in my antenatal group have reported the same issues with tightness even though we've all had completely different births and one of them was a c-section so it must be hormonal as much as physical. Hopefully things will improve on their own to a certain extent. I got a tattoo this month on the inside of my wrist - my first and probably the only one I'll get. It's a Celtic mother and child symbol which I saw when I was pregnant and have been thinking about getting as a tattoo ever since. It's taken me a little while to take the leap as I always have to been 100% sure about everything and have a tendency to talk myself out of things. My mum has voiced her disapproval too which has held me back a bit, even though I'm almost 40! Anyway, I went for it and I'm glad I did. I'm really happy with it, I think it suits me and it's a lovely reminder and confirmation of our joy at having N in our lives and the journey to her arrival.

Two months old

N is now nearly two months old - eight weeks today! Her skin is sooo soft and her hair is coming off at the back a little but leaving a cute thick row of hair left along the bottom of her head :) She looks just like I did as a baby! It's a little bit freaky looking at her sometimes and seeing baby photos of myself looking back at me! At five weeks she weighed 9lb 14oz and at 7 weeks she was 10lb 8oz and 23.5 inches! She is really getting big - I notice it most at night when I'm tired and need to pick her up! She has really full, chubby cheeks now and a double chin. She is still just so beautiful and we get lots of oohs and aahs from people when we take her out. She is really finding her voice and starting to coo and shout out. She loves stretching out her arms and legs and goes crazy on the changing mat. D's Mum arrived just before Christmas and we had a good visit with her. She has fallen head over heels with N and N really took to her too. D had got a smile from N before his Mum arrived but I hadn't had one and D was inpatient for more. Well, D's Mum got one immediately and kept getting them all the time. I have to be honest, I was gutted! It really hurt. But I finally got one too, after singing and playing with her. And D eventually got a few more so we felt better! I'm not naturally a clown around babies but I guess that's what they respond to. During all of D's Mum's visit I felt that she was watching and criticising my care of Nia. She didn't actually say anything to suggest that so I was probably being paranoid. She sent me a lovely text after she had left saying that she has no doubt that I will be and am a spectacular Mum which really reassured me. Little, tiny things that are said and comments that are made by my Mum and D's Mum sometimes make me feel that they are trying to influence the way I do things. I could be wrong and just reading too much into it. Over Christmas, N also met her uncle and aunt on D's side and her aunt on my side which lovely. Although my sister seems to be finding it a little hard adjusting to N being around. My sister is used to being the centre of attention - well, not any more! We're reading to N and showing her black and white books which really hold her attention. She got lots of toys for Christmas and we're introducing them to her although she's not quite ready to play with them yet. Although towards the end of this month she held and shook a rattle for the first time which was lovely :) She really likes music - she stops to listen and really responds to it. She often smiles when I whistle a tune to her which I LOVE! We were invited to a kid-friendly New Years Eve party which we went to. We were home around 10pm - how times have changed!! I've started to express breast milk so that D can give N a bottle occasionally. D has given her two bottles which she has taken very happily. Once when I went to meet a couple of friends for coffee and to pick up a few things. It was weird being away from her and after about 45 minutes I got increasingly anxious about her needing me for more milk. I rushed around like a maniac to get the shopping done! I guess I'll get used to it. I went into the office yesterday to show off N to my colleagues and took a bottle with me to avoid breastfeeding at work, but she didn't want to take it. I'm not sure if it was because it wasn't warm enough or if the teat was too slow or if it was just because it was me trying to give it. My Mum tried to give the same bottle later on and she was still a little fussy with it. Maybe because I was in the room, or maybe I need to try a different teat. I will persevere! It'll be good if I can feed her with a bottle occasionally if I'm going somewhere where breastfeeding will be awkward.