9 months old

This has been a big month for N! She's 9 months now and this last month has seen a lot of development - physically and mentally. She's 20.8 lbs and 29 inches (around the 91st percentile for both). She started banging things together and slapping herself in the head and face! She clapped and waved for the first time. She started getting up on her knees and helping herself to toys in her toy box. She started to try to say 'cat' and has been saying it a lot and in context so this will definitely go down as her first word! She's also started using mama and dada in context. As a last minute plan we went to a family friendly festival so that was both her first festival and her first camping trip. She took to it very well although the music was playing until the early hours and so we were all sleep deprived by the end of it... On August 5th, she crawled for the first time! This was right before we were due to fly to the USA so we were a little concerned about how she might travel and take to being stuck in a seat for a long time. But she did amazingly well. She was so relaxed and slept when she needed to. In the USA she met the rest of her aunts and uncles on D's side and also her little cousins. Their company certainly had an impact on her mobility. She started trying to pull herself up more and more and by the end of the trip she was standing for short periods unaided. And not just on solid ground but on beds, sofas and rocking chairs! She's also developed socially and seems like a different kid than the one we took away with us. She's interacting more - smiling and laughing, pulling faces, looking to me for reassurance and reaction. Everyone comments about how aware of everything she is. She doesn't miss a single noise or new sight. We feel so lucky to have her and even luckier that we have such a wonderful child. She is so happy and content and such fun. Everyone who spends time with her falls in love with her! For a short while this month, all food was for play (except satsumas which are a firm favourite) but now she is back to eating anything put in front of her. She had a virus this month which made her really upset and she came out in a rash which made us nervous. We took her to the doctor and he explained that their immune systems are weak at this age and so they often come out in a rash. My sister was at the festival that we went to and I'm glad to say that she now seems more interested in N. As I said, everyone falls in love with N and I think my sister has been equally charmed. I feel more confident in my abilities as a mother now. I'm not usually concerned that people are silently criticising me. Although I do feel like they want to do things differently and they often suggest it but I'm more able to let it go now and not take it personally. However, I am terrified that I'll make a horrible mistake and hurt her again. She has hurt herself slightly a few times since she has become more mobile. Some of which could have been avoided and other times not, and I do really worry about what might happen next. I guess this is parenthood!

7 months old

N is 7 months old and her weight is 19lb 3oz. Her personality is really starting to show now. She is often very serious but sometimes so silly. She's very determined, she know what she likes and doesn't like! The weather has been good and we had our first trip to the beach. She really loved paddling in the sea. She loves straps - the straps on her car seat, the straps on her bouncer. She sucks them and plays with them all the time. She's really loving her swimming lessons. She finished stage 1 this month and started stage 2. She's great at kicking! We had pictures of her taken swimming underwater which came out well, and they provided a short video too which is beautiful and emotional to watch :) She loves when I sing songs to her, particularly 'row row row your boat' and 'the grand old duke of York'. She loves the cats and likes to watch them and grab their fur. They are very tolerant and keep a safe distance. She is making new sounds: baba and mmm, sucking back your saliva, gargling saliva which is entertaining. She really loves screaming! Just because she can and when she is tired, and when playing with daddy. I worry what the neighbours must think! She is so beautiful. She has beautiful skin, lovely long eye lashes and a sweet rosebud mouth. She has become a little scared of male strangers recently for some reason. She is rolling all over the place and has started to move backwards on her belly and is comfortable sitting up unsupported for long periods. She is doing well with eating solids. She has breakfast and dinner now. I think it's fair to say that her favourite foods are Greek yoghurt, strawberries and tomatoes. I do often feel uncertain with feeding - is she getting enough of the right things? I keep reminding myself that it's "Just for fun til one", but I still worry if I'm giving her enough. She has some purées but mostly finger foods. At first I really found it time consuming and annoying when she didn't want what I gave her and my effort was wasted. But it's fun and it's getting easier with every meal. Most of the time she eats well. I'm glad to say that although it's still not happening often due to time, sex is getting easier all by itself which reinforces my theory that nature was trying to stop me! We moved her into the nursery from our room which I found tough but we've both for used to it now. Although she isn't sleeping well at all. I don't think it's the move but I'm not sure what it is. She'll settle easily but will wake within a couple of hours and sometimes more than once in the early hours, and waking again at 5-6. She'll usually nap a few times after that and I'll nap with her! It's been pretty rough and I'm tired all the time. I think it could be teething, particularly as we can feel one coming through now, but she isn't fussy during the day and doesn't seem to have any other majors symptoms apart from chewing on everything. I've been trying to nap with her later in the day but we have a lot going on this month (birthdays, holidays)!and I'm finding that my head is just buzzing and I can't get to sleep. I found out the hard way how sleep deprivation can make you do stupid and dangerous things. I put N in her high chair and attached the tray without strapping her in! I didn't notice and when I took the tray off after her meal, I took it over to the sink and N fell out the chair face first onto the tile floor. I heard the bang and couldn't believe my eyes. I immediately realised what I had done. She bawled and so quickly got a red puffy face and I couldn't tell if she was hurt. I took her into A&E with my mum and they checked her over and confirmed that she was fine which was a huge relief but it was devastating. I still feel sick thinking about it. I was very careful about what I said at A&E because I was worried what the fallout might be. I told a few friends immediately, trying to release the guilt I think. They were very supportive and it seems that most mums have a similar story, and most of them seem to have kept it completely secret. It's so sad that mums worry about being judged so much, sometimes by their nearest and dearest, that they keep their mistakes to themselves and suffer the guilt in silence. Just a couple of days later she lurched forward while I was holding her and hit her head on a toy. She got a few small bruises down her face :( The whole experience has made me very fearful of accidentally hurting her of her hurting herself. Oh god, I'm turning into my mother...