Belly movements!

I saw my belly move for the first time this week! So exciting :) I'd just got back from my first pregnancy yoga class which was really nice. Really chilled, plenty of time for chat and to get to know the other mums to be. Looking forward to the next class. I got home and was just sitting on the sofa on my own and then felt the baby moving. I was stroking my belly and saying hello and there is was, a little bounce! So cool. We're both obsessed with seeing it now! She is moving a lot more generally. I used to notice it about three times a day but now it's all through the day, on and off. Love it! On the down side, I've had a lot of aches and pains lately. I've had some sciatic pain which is really annoying but worse than that is an almost constant pain across my back, just under my shoulder blade. It's most noticeable when I'm sitting, which is almost all day at work! I've tried doing some things to change my position a bit at my desk but the only thing that seems to help is keeping moving, which is petty tricky in my job. At home, I've taken to lying on the sofa instead of sitting whenever I can. The pain has been getting me down and I really want to find a solution but I don't really know what's causing it. I have a mild scoliosis which may be part of the problem and why I'm only feeling it on one side. It doesn't usually bother me but the pregnancy and my ligaments stretching could be the issue. I spoke to my yoga teacher about it and she recommended taking a magnesium citrate supplement. Apparently this type of magenesium is absorbed really easily and, amongst other things, can really help muscles relax. One of the other girls in the class had found that it's really helped her back pain. I'm getting pretty desperate so I've paid £20 for a 30 day supply (!) online and can't wait for them to arrive! I have an appointment with a physio through my job's occupational health service next Friday so hopefully that will be of some use too. Another thing to mention from recent weeks is that I've noticed my OH's provider instinct coming out - big time! He's all about increasing his income and working his ass off at the moment. He always works hard but he's stepped it up a notch :) I want to reduce my hours from full time to three days when I return from maternity leave and my boss doesn't think this will be a problem at all which is great. My Mum is very keen to provide childcare and is happy to cover the three days which is also fab! We've spoken to her about money and she doesn't want paying but we plan to give her the child benefit which we will get which is £20 a week. It feels mean, but that's what she's happy with. On the plus side, my OH gets long school holidays so she will too!

Life is good!

Everything has been ticking along really well. Other than heartburn I've been feeling really good. Slowly getting bigger. Slowly buying more maternity clothes! I went shopping for a bikini recently for our upcoming holiday which was a bit challenging as my boobs have got so big that the styles that I would usually go for were off the list! On the 16th it was Father's Day, which is usually a tough day for me as I lost my Dad ten years ago. A work colleague suggested that I could buy my OH a gift which sounded like a lovely idea. So I bought a book for us to read to the baby and a card. He was really touched.

On Wednesday we had the 20 week scan! We were so excited for it. Desperate to find out the sex so that we can start visualising the baby more and for the practical reasons like choosing names and buying stuff! The scan went really well. The nurse was a grumpy so-and-so but she told us what she was looking at as she moved around the baby and confirmed that everything was fine :) The detail of the spine, and in particular the details of the heart, were amazing. We could see the four chambers and the valves moving. Incredible. And then the exciting bit - finding out the sex. We got a clear shot between the legs from underneath and there were three little lines and no bulge indicating a girl! The nurse wouldn't confirm 100% but said it was 90%. It's weird, I thought there would be a big "Aaah, it's girl" or "Aaah, it's a boy" moment, but I guess as we both completely didn't mind either way it was just really nice to know :) Despite drinking a bottle of Coke before hand she was feeling pretty lazy! She was lying with her back to us and didn't want to cooperate with having her picture taken! The nurse kept nudging her to try and make her move but she wasn't interested. So it was a little tricky to get a clear profile shot. The two that we got look so different. In the first she definitely has my OH's nose, but in the second she looks like a sea creature!

We saw the doctor after the scan and she was lovely. She said that as it's an IVF baby we can have two more scans if we like. There is no clinical reason why they are needed as everything is normal but if we would like the reassurance then the offer is there. They would be at 28 weeks and 34 weeks. We said yes, as why not?? It'll be lovely to see her continue to grow and to be sure that everything is going well in there. I feel like we've earned it :) It was a beautiful day and we walked home eating ice cream on a high. We had already previously discussed having a 4d scan done as well if the sex was unclear but even though it's pretty clear we've decided to go for a 4d scan anyway. It's quite expensive (£119) but this may well be our only baby and so why the hell not! It'll be incredible to see her in even more detail. We have to wait a little while as apparently it's better when the baby has put on a bit of fat, so we're booked in for the 4th August. The 20th was my 39th birthday - so it was lovely to still be buzzing from the scan. I had lunch with my Mum and then we went shopping. She bought us a moses basket and stand and I bought a couple of cute girly clothes :)

Unfortunately I got some really sad news though. I heard that a former colleague had passed away. She was still young (late 40's I think), a truly lovely person, happily married with a close family. She had a heart attack. Such sad news. I also heard that a friend was has just started IVF has had an unsuccessful first attempt. The eggs that were collected didn't fertilise. She must be really devastated to have got that far and not have an embryo. Both events made me feel so lucky that we are all well and that we have got this far.

Loving it!

The daily movements are soooo LOVELY! It makes me so happy to feel this little one squirming around! At just 18 weeks and 3 days my OH got to feel the baby move too! We were lying on the sofa together and suddenly I felt what could only be a kick. I had my hand on my belly at the time and grabbed my OH's hand to feel it too. The baby responded with a couple more good efforts and he felt it :) We were both in shock as it seems so early for that! I read that the thickness of your abdominal wall will play a part and as I'm not a big girl it makes sense that we would feel it earlier on. He was in shock! It hasn't happened against since though. I've been feeling lots of different things, less of the flips and more of the bubbles and flutters that I heard about before. But nothing as aggressive as that time! It was as if the baby knew that we were both there and wanted to say "hey, yep, I'm really in here!" Amazing. Whenever I feel it now, I feel like I have an amazing secret :) One more week til the scan and hopefully finding out the sex! We can't wait. I'm planning on having a little bit of sugar before hand to encourage the baby to be moving around!

18 weeks and flipping!

The time is flying! I can't believe it's only 2 more weeks and we're half way! I'm definitely looking pregnant now, not just chubby :) I knew that I might start feeling the baby move and it started about a week ago which is really early for a first pregnancy. At first, I didn't realise that that is was what I was feeling. Everyone describes it as flutters and bubbles, but for me if feels like flips and rolls. Kind of like when you are on a rollercoaster and your stomach flips, but not as intense as that! I read a quote somewhere from someone who was feeling the same thing and didn't realise it was the baby, so that confirmed it for me that it was the baby that I'm feeling. Now I'm feeling it most days and I love it. I really look forward to the next flip :) It usually happens in the mornings but a couple of nights ago it actually woke me up! I woke up thinking "ouch, what the hell...ohhhhh!!" :) I've definitely started to pee more regularly again too. Almost hourly, and often I don't actually go very much when I get there. My mother-in-law sent us a really cute, non-gender-specific, going home outfit that she knitted. It looks like a long hoody but it's actually like a little sleeping bag, and the scarf is so cute. Apparently that's the bit that makes it British...? We love it. Can't wait to get our little new born into it for the journey home. Our pile of baby stuff in the nursery is growing... we've added a cot mattress and a car seat to this picture now too. So everything is ticking along very well on the baby front. Except one of the things I've noticed is how people react so differently to the news and how often people don't react how you expect them to. One of my closest friends hasn't asked me anything about the pregnancy or how it's going. I know that she's not overly interested in talking about kids or spending time with kids and I'm certainly not interested in talking about it for hours on end but it's odd that it just doesn't come up. There is some tricky stuff going on with our friendship anyway and I'm concerned that partly due to those issues and partly due to the bump, that we might drift apart. We've been friends for over 20 years and it makes me really sad that this might happen. I'll certainly be doing everything in my power to keep our friendship going strong, but it takes two. I hope I'm wrong to be thinking this way.

Heartbeat!

We had our 16 week visit from the midwife today and she listened to the heartbeat - so we did too! It was so lovely. Partly due to the fact that I needed some more reassurance that everything is OK (I've been feeling more normal lately and less pregnant!) And partly because it was just so cool :) The heartbeat was really strong and the midwife said that it sounded perfect! My OH videoed it so we could listen again at our leisure and also share it with family and friends. It was really hard to concentrate at work today and I kept having another sneaky listen when ever I got the chance :) We did a bit of baby shopping yesterday - got the cotbed and some bedding. Lots more to buy but the nursery is filling up - I can't resist a little peak in the door each time I walk past.

A little dip

I haven't been feeling too great these last few days. The indigestion, bloating and heartburn has been really making me uncomfortable, and I've been feeling a bit low in mood for no apparent reason. The nausea has continued a little bit and I've had some really low energy again. I really thought that I was coming out of that period, and I guess when I think about it I really am feeling a lot more energetic than I was, but still not great. Hopefully things will continue to improve. I feel bad complaining about it after wanting to be in this position for so long but feeling crappy is never fun and it's dawned on me that I haven't really felt normal since before the last IVF cycle! My other half knows that I don't really like surprises and so he has told me that a friend has asked him if he thinks I would like a baby shower. I'm not supposed to know, and I won't know when it's going to happen, but I'm really thrilled that she would do this for me. We're at 15 weeks now and the bump is slowly but surely getting a little more noticeable! We meet the midwife on Monday and will hopefully get to hear the babies heartbeat :)

Getting personal

Can't believe it's 14 weeks already now! Over the last 2 weeks I've really been starting to get my energy back (apart from needing the occasional nap) which has been great as it's given me the motivation to do a few things at home to get things ready. Like finally finishing painting the rocking chair! New symptoms include indigestion in a big way - fullness, burping, bloating, heatburn. It's pretty uncomfortable. Trying to eat small portions but I often forget... And often I really want to eat something but feel like I don't have room. The bump is still barely noticeable to everyone else, but we can really see the changes, particularly when comparing weekly photos. It seems to be moving upwards now. I think in the next week or so it'll really start to pop out. Clothing is starting to get tricky. I've bought a waist expander belt for my regular trousers and a bump belt which I haven't used yet. I also bought a pair of maternity leggings but they are really baggy! It's annoying that a lot of stores don't stock their maternity lines, you have to order online. I have trouble finding stuff to fit anyway as I'm short so I think my purchases are going to be a bit hit and miss. My Mum took me out for lunch this weekend and we went in a few baby shops afterwards to browse. She's so excited and bought us a few gifts. She has also pulled out some baby things that she had at home including my own baby blanket :) It seems that she has also been quietly buying some baby things over the years since we've been trying. She has lots of lovely books already, to keep at grannys house :) I'm named this post 'getting personal' as I'm already noticing how people seem to find it very easy to speak their mind to you when you're pregnant, either their advice or their observations. Someone that I barely know asked me if I thought I had put on weight! Cheeky! I've only put on a few pounds which I think is right for this time. It's not like I have a huge ass suddenly. I hope! It's amazing that when I was having fertility treatment people found it so difficult to talk openly, or even to talk about it at all, because it's such a personal subject. But now, it seems to be no problem at all! We are very lucky and have some amazing friends and family in our life. My wonderful sister in law (and friend) and her husband sent us this lovely care package today :)