Stress...

I've been feeling a bit stressed this last week. There seems to be a lot going on and time seems to be fast running out. Work is extremely busy - lots of balls in the air. I only have one more week left and then a week to handover to the person covering my post. D and I are making plans for his birthday in December. It's a big birthday but we're trying to keep it fairly low key as we know we'll be busy with the baby, but even still there is quite a bit to plan. There are still things to do to get ready for the baby - I'm very conscious that our hospital bags still aren't completely ready. If the baby decides to come early I want to feel (almost) as prepared as I would be otherwise. And my head is full of information from the antenatal classes and the books that I've been reading. My diary for October while I'm on maternity leave is fast filling up with friends birthday parties, colleagues leaving dos and last minute lunches with friends. And I have a long list of stuff to do while I'm off work before the baby comes. Just generally feeling a bit overwhelmed... I need to chill out, not worry about getting absolutely everything done and turn down invites if I need to.

Another cold!

I was really hoping to make it through this pregnancy without a second cold. It really does suck not being able to take anything. I'm off work and using all the natural remedies that I can think of to get through it - menthol lozenges, a nasal douch, steam, the occasional waft of Vicks and the occasional paracetamol when I get desperate. I have a lot to get done at work before I go on maternity leave in only three weeks(!) but I know that I'm making the right decision to stay at home and rest. My midwife called this week to say that the results of my last blood test had come back. Apparently my platelets have dropped again, now down to 133. I'll have to have another blood test soon to check them again and if they drop below 100 then I'll have to give birth in the labour ward, not the midwife led unit. I was wavering about where I wanted to give birth but now that the midwife unit might not be an option I'm realising that that is really where I would prefer to be. So fingers crossed that my platelets settle. The midwife said that it is common for platelets to drop in the latter stages of pregnancy as your blood flow increases and the platelets are basically diluted. She also said that my iron levels are 10.8 and they shouldn't drop below 10.5. If they do, they'll need to give me an iron supplement. I'm not a huge meat lover so I've been having broccoli and pumpkin seeds the last few days! Not sure if that will do the job. I just don't have a huge appetite with so little room inside me and now I have a cold I'm really off food even more. We've had a couple more antenatal classes in the last week. I've really been enjoying them and am reassured with everything that I've been hearing. My birth plan is just about complete as a result. As well as focussing on the labour and birth, we've been talking a lot about what will happen when the babies comes into our lives which has been lovely to think about :)

Baby shower

So my "surprise" baby shower happened on Sunday! I knew it was happening as D had it written in his diary and a work colleague sent me a text to say that she hoped I have a good time and sorry that she couldn't be there! So as soon as I entered the room I blurted it all out as I really didn't want to act surprised. I'm a rubbish actor! There was a really lovely crowd of people there. My Mum and my sister who made the trip from London to be there, two of my oldest friends (one who came down from Bedfordshire), some old and current work colleagues and my lovely friend who organised the shower and a mutual friend of ours. I know I said that I wouldn't take the absence of one of my oldest friends personally but I did! I gave her 24 hours to send the expected "sorry I couldn't be there" message and when she didn't I sent her a message to say that she had been missed and to ask if everything was OK. She said that everything was fine and that she'd just had a busy weekend. It did feel like a pathetic response and I do feel let down. But what can I do? Life is changing now and I have to accept that the people in my life might change too. Hopefully, if I lose some people I'll also gain some great new friends along the way too. Anyway, the lovely friend who organised the shower had really gone to a lot of effort with the decorations, food and baby themed quizzes.

And I received lots of lovely gifts including hand-knitted items from my Mum. I was really touched.

The right to moan

I had a bit of a public moan on Facebook last week. I had a list of physical issues that were getting to me and was feeling a bit sorry for myself. After posting it, I felt a bit guilty. How, after all the time we have spent trying to get to this point, can I dare to complain about anything?? I voiced this to some friends the following evening and they encouraged me - "milk the sympathy for all it's worth" they said! I still felt a bit bad. I'm trying to focus on all the positive aspects and just see the physical problems as a small part of it all. This has been helped along by the NCT classes. We've had another evening class and a Sunday morning class and we've discussed a variety of topics around labour and birth and early childcare. It's got me thinking more about the bigger picture. Also, a friend has given us three huge bags of baby clothes that she no longer needs. Washing and folding so many cute little things really brought home the wonderful journey ahead of us and the next few weeks and the labour feel like the blink of an eye in comparison. All of a sudden things seem to be getting increasingly busy. With finishing things up at work (I have 4 weeks left) and last minute preparations. It's all really exciting and kind of surreal. This bump in front of me is actually going to produce a beautiful child!

NCT

So we went to the first NCT antenatal class on Thursday. I really felt for D as he came home from work tired and we had to head straight out the door again for the two hour class. I think he could probably think of better things to do with his time. As it was the first class we had some of the obligatory team building stuff to deal with but other than that the class was worthwhile and the tutor was lovely and very relaxed. It was interesting as she actually re-iterated a lot of the stuff that my yoga teacher is always banging on about but in a clearer, more concise and less preachy way. The group seem really lovely and hopefully we'll get to know some of them better as time goes on and be a good support for each other. D came out of the class quite chatty about everything and I think he found it worthwhile too. We have 4 more classes and I'll also be going to the breastfeeding class too.

Time ticking on...

I had a routine midwife appointment this morning. All is fine. My blood pressure hasn't risen at all throughout the pregnancy. The babies heartrate is still good. She is maintaining the growth rate on my chart. My iron levels are fine. However, my platelet count from my last blood test was a little low. It's supposed to be between 150 and 400 and mine is 147 or something close. So I need to have my blood re-done next week to check that it's not dropping further. If it stays as it is then it'll be fine but if it drops below 100 then I'll need to see a consultant so they can 'make a plan' for the birth. I'm not concerned at this point. I've made an appointment for next Friday at my GP surgery for the blood test and I'll also be having a whooping cough vaccination to protect the baby as there has been a bit of an outbreak apparently. Have I mentioned that my vocal chords have been weird? I think it must be hormones. The tone of my voice is pretty unpredictable and I can often sound like a pubescent boy! My OH has hinted more about the baby shower that a friend is holding for me and who is going to be there, including one of my friends who doesn't live locally. She then sent me a text to say that she was coming down 'for a family do' and we've arranged to meet for coffee so I'm pretty sure it's happening sometime that weekend! (14/15 Sep). My OH (I'll refer to him as D from now on) was angry because apparently one of my very good friends couldn't make the original date. D was annoyed that she hadn't prioritised the shower. I was a little hurt at first too but having thought about it quite a bit I have to consider that she might not be too keen for lots of reasons. She hasn't ever expressed an interest in having kids but apparently she broached the subject with her boyfriend recently (boys are bigger gossips than girls!). Maybe she's just not interested in a baby themed event or maybe having a baby is actually something she quietly really wants but is concerned about it not happening due to her relationship/age/etc. So if she doesn't make it to the shower I'm not going to take it personally. My back and rib pain continues and I'm having good days and bad. I'm increasingly uncomfortable generally! I'm finishing work at 3:30 instead of 5 at the moment. I'm taking it as annual leave but my boss has said that I should just go home if I'm not feeling good enough to work and not take leave. She knows that I don't take advantage and that a lot of people would so she's being very flexible which is great. I had a massage on Saturday which was done on a normal massage couch but with warm water pads on top. I lay on my back the whole time and the therapist massaged my back between the pads and my back. It was really nice not to have to move for the full hour and it was very relaxing. I might have to squeeze another one of those in before the baby is born! When I got home afterwards my Mum had just arrived at the house and was waiting for me to get back. She wanted to know if I would like her to use some of my left over wedding dress material to make a christening gown. She wanted to check in case I thought it would be too old fashioned. What perhaps she should have been asking was whether we are planning on having a christening, which we're not! So I had to break that to her in my post-massage stupor. It was really nice of her to offer to make a gown and hopefully she's not too upset about it. I don't consider myself to be a religious person. I intend to educate my child about religion generally and let her decide for herself. D is a christian but he doesn't attend church and doesn't believe that our baby will be banished to hell if she's not christened. We like the idea of having some kind of ceremony but we're not clear about what would be right for us at the moment. We've thought about Godparents (or maybe Guideparents!) but we have quite a few friends that we would want to ask so it would be really hard to know where to draw the line. We'll give it some thought. The babies movements are definitely getting bigger! There are more large movements and she appears to still be in the same position (head down on my left side). It's still odd to think that there is actually a baby in there! I only have 6 weeks left at work now which will fly by I'm sure. My stuff for the hospital bag is slowly piling up and at our next midwife appointment at 34 weeks we'll be discussing the labour and birth. Our NCT (National Childbirth Trust) antenatal classes start this week. I'm looking forward to meeting some more mums, hopefully making some new friends and learning a bit more. I'm really hoping that D finds the classes useful too and benefits from meeting some other dads-to-be. We're getting close to this baby being here now!!